Sunday, 2 August 2015

A little lesson in planning...

I love plans. I love lists. Even more, I love writing lists for all the plans that float around my head 24/7!! And in this season of trying to balance out my life I thought I had to plan even more. But lately I've been taught a very valuable lesson and I thought I'd share it with you. 


So, since January I have been working a little in my boys school as an emergency cover classroom assistant. It has been great fun and I absolutely loved being in P1. The job in itself was an answer to prayer as it came at a time when we needed to raise some more support, but I figured God had a plan that was going to be somewhat different to usual... Cue a lovely phone call from a lovely principal... 

But although this is what I was training for, and I was VERY excited, I was caught between being delighted and gutted because of the circumstances of my placement. Someone else (and it's worse when you actually know them) had to be ill for me to be in. Thankfully the lady I was covering for has since been given the all clear and is getting better by the day - praise God!! 

I was truly thankful for the opportunity to work in the school and I was starting to think about what was going to happen next year... 

And this is when I started to go wrong the other day... 

I was trying to figure out my life without giving God any room to move. I was trying to plan my life away - from now until the end of the summer, and then through to Christmas... I was writing down thoughts, coming up with neat 'if this...then that' scenarios for work and making up in my mind what would work best for everyone around me. 




Then God intervened in a most marvellous way! I had downloaded an app for my phone - First5 - which helps you to remember to focus on God and give Him the first moments of your day, rather than going on social media etc. One of the perks of downloading it early was that we got to watch a live stream of Lysa Terkeurst's opening talk from this year's "She Speaks" conference. And this is what she said...

She told us a story of how she was making plans, bringing them to God, and basically saying - here are my plans...don't be messing around with them or changing them because I have them just right...but if you could just bless them then we'll all be just fine...

Oh my - that's exactly what I was doing. Here I was telling Him what I had decided needed to happen - what I, in my small earthly closed view, had planned out for everyone around me, and asking Him to make it happen. 

Oops... Not good. Not good at all. 

And then, to really get the message home my reading (from the book 'Jesus Calling') was this... 



I had to stop and really think about this. Did I really not trust God enough to stop over-obsessively planning my life and let Him move? Did I not trust that He could see the bigger picture and make a much better decision than I could? Did I not remember that God's timing is always perfect? 

In the end I had to have a few words with my Father - of the 'sorry' variety - as I realised, yet again, I'd taken control of my life back from His hands. It's something I keep doing... (And I know I probably will continue to struggle with this in the future) But He keeps being so patient with me and reminding me to let go. He has it. He is in control and I really don't have to obsess and plan my life away. 

This morning I had a reminder of why I'm very glad I've given this over to Him. He does know best and how much more exciting is it when we can see Him work miracles and see His perfect timing than when we plan every last second of our day. 

'Be still and know that I am God....'

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