So I've started a mini challenge for myself. Yes - yet another one!! It's a challenge to be braver in my decisions, make more of my life and do things I would usually shy away from, and write about it along the way. It's a 30 day challenge and each day they give you a journal question/thought and today it is this.
What was the seed that inspired you to start this 30-day challenge?
A couple of years ago I attended a conference with a group of friends and this was one of the things they spoke on - how a seed grows and the different stages it goes through before we see the plant.
Since we've also been growing some sunflowers, peas, potatoes and lillies with our P1 children this week, it's a subject that's been on my mind.
Stage one - being still
Basically when you plant a seed it is deep in the soil or compost. There is no light and for a while it has to sit in the darkness before anything happens.
And a lot of the time I feel like this - I feel like I'm in darkness and not actually doing anything. I feel useless and pathetic. My daily life plods along but I'm not actually getting anywhere. I'm still behind in everything and still overwhelmed. I feel as if I've been forgotten by the world as I hide away in my wee world. And although I know that most of these feelings are inaccurate and my solitude is self-imposed, I still FEEL useless and alone.
But this is can also be a time of stillness. It's a time where we get to be still and know that He is God. We stop fighting against ourselves and get to experience God's love in a way that is unique and special to us - and it's amazing. And it's a great starting point in your journey with God. I feel as if I keep getting pulled back to here when I'm overwhelmed, but I know that it doesn't just signal a period of darkness, but a time of stillness, time with God and preparation for a new beginning.
The seed is not the plant. It's just the beginning. And when God picks us and draws near to us it's just the beginning too.
Stage two - the journey begins
And then it starts to grow. A seed grow two ways - up and down. It starts growing it's roots and then starts to grow upwards in search of the sun.
Our sunflower seeds in school have reached this point now - they are peaking their heads out of the soil and unfurling their leaves. And the children are so excited to see them!
So now, not only does our little seed have roots that hold it in place, it also have some beautiful green shoots that are popping up and feeling the warmth of the sun on their leaves.
I think this is where I am right now. Once again (and I've been a Christian for a loooooong time) my roots are growing and spreading out, growing deeper and stronger the more I read and pray and learn about God. They are even more inbedded when I go to church and worship with my wonderful church family - and I know I don't do this enough.
And then as they grow stronger I feel my head popping up, longing for the light of God's love and grace and mercy to shine on me and make me whatever He wants me to be.
So to go back to the question - I want to grow. I want to put my roots back down to steady myself and lean on God fully, and I long to feel His love shine on me as I figure out His next step for me.
It's an exciting journey and I can't wait to see where it leads.
Keep shining xx