So for the past week I have been in a very bad place - and I struggled to get out. I've been literally surviving one day at a time.
I've mentioned that I've been going to a counsellor - which has been a fantastic experience. BUT the down side of counselling is the having to process everything and deal with the fallout of delving deep inside.
Thoughts I believed that weren't real mixed in with things I didn't dare believe. Achievements battered by thoughts of failure. Good experiences always drowned out by the bad.
And when you stop to actually look into them and start to dissect them they get even worse.
And that's where I've been this week. I have been constantly chasing thoughts around my head - to the point that even sensible suggestions or things asked of me totally threw me. It was as if I no longer could tell the difference between the truth and the lies. I could no longer tell the difference between life as it is meant to be and life in my mess of a head.
It's a horrible place to be.
Those words follow so many stories because we have an amazing God! I know that I feel like I need a miracle to sort my head out, but I also know that I have a God that specialises in them!
He comes alongside and allows me to just be still in His presence. And that's what I need most right now. So that's my plan for the next weeks. To be still and know that He is God.
So this morning I got up to do just that...
I got a copy of "Pressing Pause" to work through this summer wih some friends. I haven't been the greatest at keeping up but this morning I made a special effort to reprioritise God and got up to read. It was the story of Mary and Martha, where Martha was busy busy busy and Mary sat at the feet of Jesus just being still in His presence.
I do love how God just brings you just what you need when you need it! This was so specifically for me and I actually laughed when I read it! God just keeps amazing me over and over!
Keep shining xx